I came across these wise words long ago, the source not forgotten:
Forgive, even tho no apology has been made.
Otherwise you risk living your life in bitterness, in reaction to the actions of others.
But how do we forgive the unacceptable, without appearing to accept it?
I have found we need to achieve a place safe from the hands of the offender before we can begin to think about forgiving.
Once safe, sit down with this meditation:
‘I forgive this action, and I do not accept the intention of harm. All is clear between us.’
I practice those words over and over, letting whatever old past injuries float up.
The beauty of this is,
a- we forgive
b- we do not let any intention of harm penetrate our core
c- in case we are mistaken about someone intending harm, we have now neutralized it in our own hearts!
The problem with hurts and forgiveness is that sometimes the person meant no harm.
People do what they do, they don’t necessarily do it to us personally. Sometimes the person did no objective wrong—we were just sensitive. Or, the person had no idea what harm would be done to us by doing what they do. In that case, the intention and degree of harm has come from our own hearts, doing damage every time we have nursed and nurtured the grudge, and injured us and now the other person we are angry with!
Think about it—do you unconsciously nurse old wounds because they allow you to remain angry, hurt, separate, and apart?
It’s time to give it up.
It’s the hardest thing you can do, but it will free you in ways you can’t even imagine yet.
Copyright 2009 all rights reserved